To all my ladies out there who are clingers... you love your boyfriend, he's your "world," if you could you'd spend every minute of your day with him (minus your toilet sessions) you would, and he's met your fam and friends. Here are a few tips on how to cut back before you unintentionally push him away.
By the way ladies: Even if he doesn't complain to you, you don't know what he's telling his friends or exactly what he's feeling (he may not complain to you just yet because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings). And you don't want to ever become the girl that calls her man over and over if he doesn't answer. That's what we call harassing, and that’s what I call crazy!
1. Make time for yourself. Having a designated time for yourself will give you sometime to 'discover yourself' (I hate clichés... I apologize). Hang out with friends, read a book, do something other than think of him. Unless you have a wedding band on your finger, he is not your life!
2. Get a hobby. Apparently you were doing something before you got into this relationship. You had a life, your own set of friends, your own schedule and plans. Keep them! Aside from the casual dating and excess partying that you may have stopped or put on hold, continue to do the things you were doing before this man. When he's not around you don't want to be bored, and the last thing you want to be is a woman who cannot live without her man.
3. Make time for family. One thing that I've noticed is that many females in my family who have boyfriends rarely see their family. Of course as you get older you have a life outside of your relatives, but make sure you keep in touch. If by any chance you break up with your man in the future, nothing is more therapeutic then a day with your girlfriends, and spending time with your family. They love you unconditionally and fortunately for you... they're stuck with ya. So make time for your family, go see your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters and brothers. Don't forget the people who matter most.
4. Meditate. It sounds crazy, but enjoying peaceful time alone with no interactions can truly help to clear your mind. Use this time to listen to soft music and relax. If you're a Christian, use this time to focus on God, read his word and pray. Take time for you and only you. It's your day off from the world. Enjoy it.
5. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. This is one thing that I struggle with. If you're on Twitter or Facebook, and reading other people's statuses, you can begin to envy them and wish you were out and about on town, with your significant other, on vacation, etc. If you find that you always want to do what everyone else is doing, check your Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. less. Instead focus on what YOU are doing.
6.Give him some space! This one is basic. Don't question him, you're not his parent. If he's hanging out with friends, let him call you back when he has time. If he doesn't call you back (when you want) do something else. Occupy your time with activities, work, etc. Don't wait on a call, let the man be.
By the way ladies: Even if he doesn't complain to you, you don't know what he's telling his friends or exactly what he's feeling (he may not complain to you just yet because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings). And you don't want to ever become the girl that calls her man over and over if he doesn't answer. That's what we call harassing, and that’s what I call crazy!
1. Make time for yourself. Having a designated time for yourself will give you sometime to 'discover yourself' (I hate clichés... I apologize). Hang out with friends, read a book, do something other than think of him. Unless you have a wedding band on your finger, he is not your life!
2. Get a hobby. Apparently you were doing something before you got into this relationship. You had a life, your own set of friends, your own schedule and plans. Keep them! Aside from the casual dating and excess partying that you may have stopped or put on hold, continue to do the things you were doing before this man. When he's not around you don't want to be bored, and the last thing you want to be is a woman who cannot live without her man.
3. Make time for family. One thing that I've noticed is that many females in my family who have boyfriends rarely see their family. Of course as you get older you have a life outside of your relatives, but make sure you keep in touch. If by any chance you break up with your man in the future, nothing is more therapeutic then a day with your girlfriends, and spending time with your family. They love you unconditionally and fortunately for you... they're stuck with ya. So make time for your family, go see your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters and brothers. Don't forget the people who matter most.
4. Meditate. It sounds crazy, but enjoying peaceful time alone with no interactions can truly help to clear your mind. Use this time to listen to soft music and relax. If you're a Christian, use this time to focus on God, read his word and pray. Take time for you and only you. It's your day off from the world. Enjoy it.5. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. This is one thing that I struggle with. If you're on Twitter or Facebook, and reading other people's statuses, you can begin to envy them and wish you were out and about on town, with your significant other, on vacation, etc. If you find that you always want to do what everyone else is doing, check your Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. less. Instead focus on what YOU are doing.
6.Give him some space! This one is basic. Don't question him, you're not his parent. If he's hanging out with friends, let him call you back when he has time. If he doesn't call you back (when you want) do something else. Occupy your time with activities, work, etc. Don't wait on a call, let the man be.
When
he's down, you want to be the person that he calls and talks to. Whether he's happy or sad, he needs to know that you believe in him. Understand that when he's acting differently, it's not always because he's around someone, cheating, or any other thing our emotional selves come up with on a whim. Always ask if everything is okay, and give him time to speak. Remember: If he doesn't call you and you already know he's not feeling his best, text him and let him know you care, but don't harass him. He needs comfort, not you constantly speed dialing his phone. Don't complain when he doesn't have time to speak with you because he's working or searching for a job. You'll only sound selfish and stupid. Let him be and give him space.Seven is the number of completion so I'll end here. I ended with encourage him because you're in a relationship, I'm not going to give you a list filled with only things to do outside of that relationship. In order to improve your relationship you need to find time for yourself, but also keep your man happy.
God bless all of those in the relationship world (and no one else... jk) and good luck :-)
_Coco Elle_
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